bloodletting

Erin

I don't mind admitting
that I reopened this wound
with the full awareness
of what would follow:

of how it would sting,
and bleed blood
I had not seen for months,

of the salt
I would be tempted
to sprinkle
and mix well with it,

knowing it would lead to
the throbbing, the pulsating
in a rhythm identical
to my heart's: gasping,
panicking, aching freely
and rapidly and seemingly
without limit or concern
for its owner

and I still went forward.
and I gave myself over
to the kind of pain
that could have blinded me
if I had let it

but when I let that blood
flow out of me,
I didn't let it.
I let go of it

and started to teach myself
how to thread brand new stitches
through my skin
and sew this wound up
and smile