The 49th Time

by Kester Henrick

It's the 49th time that I've tortured myself
for letting you go without saying good-bye
I read all your letters and try not to die
trying to hold back on the tears that I cry
It's the 49th time that I'm saying good-bye

It's the 49th time that I've lied to myself
by packing my feelings away on the shelf
and going to work and pretending I'm fine
while you're out in the world and I can't call you mine
It's the 49th time that I'm saying good-bye

It's the 49th time and you'll laugh when I say
it's been 49 years since you left me that day
and I hope you're not dead cause I wanted to say
that your life has touched me in the greatest way
Your life has touched me in the greatest way
It's the 49th time that I'm saying good-bye