for my baby

by turtledove

For a few weeks every month
I believe my life has a greater meaning
I'm sustaining myself for you

I stick my belly out in front of the mirror
and decide it doesn't look too bad

And when you're growing
I will nourish you

We'll go for walks together
And I will feel the walking
Rocking you to sleep

And when you are born
I will count your fingers and toes
And look into your eyes
I've never seen eyes so clear
And you will look like your father

I imagine you riding on his tall shoulders
And you will be asleep when he tells me that he doesn't love me
And you, I hope so much, will still be sleeping when he leaves us.