Here's to a new semester

By Amy Lipman

Gas Stove

In a parking lot
Cars burn rubber for the same space
Like when boys started making promises to me in backseats

As I got older, I hoped that
His car would be home
That she wouldn’t be by herself
That he’d be there for dinner
And for the night
And for the rest of the repeated excuses of weeks
Because days promise endings
But there was no rest in that house
Dry skin mixed with grating fingers
On one another’s throats
We all speak in monotone
Can’t afford to waste ink or blood or expression
By any brightening or rising of octaves

And Jenny today said she wishes she
Had a stove like mine
But I clean and clean that stove
And it never makes any food
That I’ll actually eat

You are the house I tried to build
Before I knew that stitches meant to fix split skin
From acidic hands I come in contact with
When he forgets exactly who I am
Are better off putting together monuments
That nobody will ever go to see on family trips
And nobody will ever ask if they are there yet
And nobody will ever get hurt


Splitting Skin

I feel guilty for having curves and hair and a body
And feel like I owe my synapses a rent check
When I stop scrubbing mountain passes and stop
Holding tension in my neck, since they say that
Survivors
Never
Let

Anyone touch that part of them
I vow that I’ll get all the stiffness back
But then I remember touch
And how good warmth is in a cold room

They say that I need to let someone in
As they try to knock down the door
And litter my kitchen with
Their living ashes and two by fours that they wish I’d make something out of
They say they’ve brought a present
But they found it in the hallway
I saw them sneak it in
Where are my flowers

Well, maybe I’ll make a man out of you
When you carry me home when I fear the snow
But I’m not scared of cold
I never dread being alone
I skitter and snatch up my keys when faced with a face
That tries to widen its eyes
To let in mine


Justin

You asked if I’d stay
And you wouldn’t tell anyone
And I couldn’t tell anyone
Because I’d left my mark in your bed
A mattress on the wooden floor
You’d come all the way from California
To seduce an undergrad

And you said you wore my
Hair band around your wrist all day
And you said you wanted to lie like that
All week
But you had auditions
For the Milwaukee Rep
And I weight to lose

We talked in the dark
About my brother
We were shocked that you are his age
You asked if I were seeing someone
Asked if I would stay the night
Asked after a time if we could be friends

I don’t regret it
You made me feel gorgeous


Jaron

I think that you think I’m a fully-grown colt
And you like how I shake and you like how my teeth
Reflect everyone’s shadows when I smile
Which is most of the time
Because I look for backings of nails
Behind lovers earlobes
To make sure I won’t cut my mouth
If I tell them my secrets
Since what keeps them listening
Is how red my lips get

And you think that I’d loosen you up
Relieve you of sweaters
And free you of fences made from our skin
Throw everything down on the floor
And fold all the scents press them to my chest when you’d fallen asleep
That I could still rise as a bread to feed our family while suffocating
Hold your hand in the synagogue
Tell the rabbi we’d been friends for a while, now
And return your phone calls

I think you are a nice boy
I think you think I’m really blonde


Yanna

Your hair is long and dark
You talk about “the island”
You talk about your family
You nod your head and I nod mine
When we speak about the men who
Did it
The men who
Ran
The men who
Wouldn’t stop
Even on our first birthdays
They were thinking about what they’d take from us
When we had nothing to give
We were pink and hairless and not women
And they liked that because

We didn’t have voices or bellies or any real places to hide
They wouldn’t like us now
Now that our hair is longer and darker and
You think I’ll be your girlfriend, girl
I couldn’t bear to hurt you
So I’m asking you stop asking


Dominique

I want to lose it to a black man
So go ahead, you are beautiful
We laid in your bed and you
Asked me questions
And traced my body with your hands and your eyes
And I didn’t even flinch
I’m not darling or a dear
I’m everything from the empire
That couldn’t be burned
And was left because I’d age and increase in value
And be harder to swallow

I kissed your neck when you walked me home
And you wanted me to come back
To your apartment
But my friends were sleeping on my floor
And I couldn’t leave them
Because nobody likes waking up alone
Track star, you were too quick for me
It was over too soon
You made me laugh so hard I almost
Forgot what I was worried about