January 7
By Amy Lipman
Boys I Used to Know
You are technical
Wired for a spoiled age
Of nuts and bolts I proclaimed love
May I see your sparks?
Snuff them out in my bed
If you touch me here
I will freeze
Growing Pains
Isn’t there something in your stomach
That makes you want to talk?
A mound of ice
You try to melt
With words reserved for women?
You haven’t eaten since I stopped running
You must be hungry, I must be thin
Men
Some apologize and stay angry in heaven
They used to wake me
Make me listen to nightmares
And expect I'd be up all night long
1 Comments:
Yay you are giving your poems titles!! I think it sets the tone for the poem.
And also on the last poem I felt like it ended too abruptly. With the first two you wrapped them up at the end. I think you can expand on the last one. Like, why did they think you would stay up all night long? Of course you never have to take suggestions if you don't want to, but it's always nice to get feedback.
I like in "Boys I Used to Know" when you ask, 'May I see your sparks?' I love that line. I love the polite questioning, as if they wouldn't let you see their the sparks if you hadn't asked so nicely.
-bru
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