this was going to be a poem but turned into a letter

by Bachelorette

To A Former Flame.

I hope you are doing well.
I'm sure you are doing well now that you
have cut me out of your life!!!!!!!
Hopefully it's everything you ever dreamed of
and I'm sure it's nice not to worry about
remembering to do certain things, like,
"fuck, I haven't called her in over a week"
...
oh wait, that's right, you never worried about those
things in the first place.

Of course.

Hopefully your newly-embraced Christianity is
treating you well. It was very considerate
that you cut off physical activity at me sucking
your dick, because sex is sacred, and you don't really
know if you're in love - who can be sure these days,
right??? I'm sure your god will be impressed by
the sexual constraint you practiced as my head was
between your legs. And yes, you do have a small
dick. You already knew it, I was too kind to
confirm it.

With that said, I hope that your new sexual
encounters are just as fulfuilling (if not more!) as
those which were experienced with yours truly. I'm sure
there are plenty of bimbos out there willing to
satisfy you after 2, 3, maybe 8 beers. You may
have a miniscule johnson but what you lack in the
sack you make up for in... well, you really don't
manage to make up for it in any respect. Let's
not kid ourselves.

Anyways! Good luck in the rest of your life. Perhaps
you really will find the woman who's man
enough to make up for all your shortcomings
and pussy antics. Enjoy the rest of the
semester, not that I need to tell you to,
because I'm sure you are.








And please mail my fucking shirt back.

Kind regards,
Your Former Flame