Missing a Piece

by line dry only

where were you?
i've looked around, there's nothing in sight
no sounds, places, taste.
so blandly spun like the tip of your tongue
that doesn't weave words with grace
and you expect me to bow down
and follow your every move
and you don't even see
the stabbing
pain
so cliche, i know. but somebody's gotta say it --
you walk into a room like we should all finally
"see the light"
i didn't know you were a god.
i just thought you were my dad
when you toss around any
losing fights ridiculous insults
crushing tears sassing my intelligence
you make me feel like

shit.

and i just wanted to let you know,
that maybe if you didn't forget
how to spell my middle name
to pick me up at various ages, even in the snow
that maybe if you didn't forget
not to leave me stranded alone
not to lead me so far and gone
that maybe if you didn't forget
the color of my eyes
when my birthday is

and come home empty minded
with me sitting at the table

eating some cereal
and watching some sad kids program
where they talk about how
drugs and alcohol and sex
are all so bad for you
well maybe they wouldn't hurt as much as this.

and i ask you,
"daddy, why didn't you come home right away? isn't today
special?"

the look on your face - is priceless.
you forgot your only daughter's birthday.

and it happened more than once

and
when you say

when you say
that i've said so many insulting things to you in a week
and you don't even know how inferior you make me feel

maybe
if you didn't
do
that,

then you could see how much
i hate the way your mind is slumbering
and i wish that you knew that you're
almost
losing
my
love

i wrote a story about you once.
about how i saw so much in your eyes.
and your smile.

you read it
and you said --

"i didn't think i showed anything
like this."

as if to say,,
i didn't think
you noticed
or
i didn't think
you cared
or
i didn't think

i didn't think..
i cared.

i chip away
so cliche
but i die.

everyday.