the sound of your name makes me violent

turtledove

the feeling of needing to punch my fist
through your skull
and into your brain
scares me

is that you rubbing off on me
or my father

when we were younger
i'd stare from the stairway
as he scrambled for my brothers
and i'd hide from it
and hate the day that it focused on me

but this feels like my own
not some gene passed down
because you're legitimately an asshole
and my brothers weren't

my brothers, those men
are the strongest men i know
i will never meet anyone as honest as they are
and never love someone so much

its so unfair that i should feel anything for you
when i have my brothers
and i have my boyfriend
and all you do is hurt me
worse than he ever did