afterthoughts

erin v
-

he told me
with a straight face
that he thought this distance
would be good for us,
and then
never bothered
to pick up
the telephone

(surely because)
his heart was just busy
growing fonder,
fonder

while I wondered,
wondered
what he was thinking

what was I thinking?

-

"I don't know"
I say these words a lot
and I say these words
without thinking
without realizing
how much I am lying

to feign ignorance
of true facts and feelings
that are scratched
into stone
or wet cement
with a kind of desperation
that cannot be denied

well

that's just a lie, that's just a line
like everything else
and like everyone else
I know much more
then I let on