STANDING confused in the church basement

by whitehorse

how silly of me
to forget that you were dying
and go on with my day.

but i did it for a while

months i guess

and your body fought against itself
one hundred feet away from me
but i did nothing

in the final months i almost never even
stopped to see you.

As your sons just kept moving things to the curb
for the garbage trucks to take away.
i heard you were losing weight

i guess that battle that you fought for soo long
is finally over.
no more walking everywhere.

i heard your legs didnt really work
much towards the end anyways.

its a shame to lose all that weight
and not even be able to show it off,

and someone soo dear to me confessed
that she had witnessed your death
that your oxygen tank had gone faulty
and filled your room with flames
devouring you.

of course it didnt end like that

i have no idea how it concluded
because i avoided your funeral

Because you were dead
months before you were buried.

this is what i'll never say

by: Johnny Slate

Yes you know that I love you.
But what am I supposed to do?
Fit yourself in my big shoes,
It's deja vu. It's nothing new.

I'll bet you're out, you're having fun,
But watchout Cupid bought a gun,
And modern romance has me stunned,
It's just a prick: his bullet tounge.

In this bed, this room, I'm stuck,
I'm not supposed to give a FUCK.
Guess what? You struck out of luck,
I'm the guy that simply sucks.

Didn't mean to make you see,
All that you have done to me.

Only one thing is for sure:
Your kiss seems like the only cure.

Painting the Sky

by: Johnny Slate

I stepped out for a smoke at dusk,
I find myself doing that a lot now,
When I noticed how the setting sun
Shot taut photon carpets of light
To cover the clouds in receding shades of gold.
I pointed
and my finger,
Like a paintbrush,
Dipped into the rich palette of the sky.

Surprised, I was content with swirling colors at first
Until a shape leapt out at me
From my rippling canvas.

The sun,
It's bronze plate slipped lower on the horizon.
Alarmed, I worked furiously,
To flesh out those shapes,
All too familiar to the touch.

I tore up the gates of heaven:
A scintillating rainbow,
And inverted it,
And pinched it at the middle
Like the precipice of a divine peak.

A drop of rain
(Or was it a tear?)
Anointed my cheek,
So boldly
I gathered furious storm clouds overhead,
And raked my fingers through them,
Creating midnight tributaries
And wispy slants of lighting sharpened style.

I smudged rouge mist,
Gathering it together
In a delicate kiss.
Higher I traveled
Pulling just enough white
For a finely crafted nose.

Plucking two passing doves,
I placed them equidistant in the sunset
And stood back to admire my work:
Your sparkling visage,
Fading in the twilight,
Until finally
The night wrapped me in a sleepy cloak
And the birds flew their mysterious coops,
And all that was left
Were two winking stars
Smiling down at me,
Where your eyes had once been.

Did it hurt?

by: slanted

For all the corny pick up lines
For all the faulty feelings,
Angels falling from the sky
Seems awfully close to you

But people are not angels
And you are so far from perfect
I wonder where you came from
I’m lost for where you’re going

I know I could move on
I know I could start over
But my dreams are doing nothing
But showing me with you

And we are running through a field,
Running off a cliff
And since you never liked to hold hands
We are falling down alone

I saw you had a parachute
To break this painful fall
Before you pulled the cord to stop
And I kept falling
You whisper in my ear

That:

“Life is just a game
And we played it pretty well
But now I’ve got to go babe
Since I’m tired of always winning

When you can never tell”

Sloppy

by line dry only

smart sassy silly sexy sloppy
sloppy sass silly sex
all these snake letters are
twistin up your insides

would you turn them out for a physical?
the docter'll see you now

cancer cave crying cancer
crying cancer
cancer.

why did they always try to tell me that you would be the last to go?

i knew you were smart
but
i knew you were human

our vivacious vibrant video perfect attributes
mighta helped me train my naked eye

but what's the point of debating the topic of

you

anymore?

i could perfectly sit down,
write a
pretty papered penciled in plastic
perfect
letter

and i'd still get ink blots on the page
from all the lead i used writing it

sloppy
shitty
scratchy
sexy
succumb
sit down
sister
suckah

i went downtown the other day
to visit you at the hospital
in the cancer wing

psychological analysis with beeping machines and short-circuited wires
did more damage to your heart
than all of the dangerous cells ever could

i wandered walked wallowed around in some neighborhoods
around there afterwards
some bad neighborhoods
i was always such a lone ranger
a man in an army olive green trench coat
raspily screamed at me
he said - "i wouldn't pay for drugs anymore"
i wouldn't
pay
for drugs anymore

who was he talking to?
did he know that i even was listening?
his voice was one of those "six - inch voices"
that teachers in
2nd grade classrooms
said to
sticky - fingered children
who had too much
peanut butter
at lunch
and decided that story time was
for pinching a kid
named
Jeremy

a man in an army olive green trench coat
raspily
screamed
at me
so then why are his vocal cords barely vibrating?

why did they always try to tell me that you would be the last to go?

- ..i bet it was the inkblots.

the worst poem ever

by whitehorse

i have always considered myself
to be lucky
or at least charming

at least thats what those flight attendants said
as i boarded and left the planes
encouraged by thier compliments
my ears still ringing from five dollar headphones

and i could step out
into any destination
and feel like it was home

and on all my reports
they said i was bright
i just never applied myself

but who isnt like that?

cracked and bleeding

by: slanted

This is all a load of bullshit
Turn the ignition and speed off
But the engine isn’t starting
And you will just have to walk

Now your slowly leaving this place
But it doesn’t really matter
With this shit stuck on your shoes
Desperatly searching for good news

Leaving it all behind your barefoot
Better stubborn than weak you say
Your feet start to crack and burst
But you always knew you’d pay

There are tears appearing now
In those silly deceiving eyes
Crawling does not suit you
But it’s better than that hell

Anything to take this mind
Away from anything like that
But your body is so still now
And you can’t go forwards or back

Down

black charger

If you’re willing to lose everything tonight
Would you go that far
Or simply make a statement
Hoping for attention

For friends to pull you back
And make jokes
Taking your comments
Lighter than intended

When you have theses deeper feelings
Do they know
Or only take you as a joker

Again

You dream of losing all
When all you really need to do
Is fall

Off of your pedestal
Once more

Dreamers

black charger

When all you want to do
Is run away and hide
Where do you go

Do you got to that spot in your mind
Where dreams and reality collide
To happy memories
Of better times

Or do you leave your house
To escape with your friends
Just for the night
Only to find that you’re not where you belong

Is it that you leave to forget
Or only forget to leave

You lay in bed having gone nowhere
But simply staring at your 4 walls
Nothing changed
And nothing solved

What more can be expected
All of you is flaunted

going out of business sale

by whitehorse

i had whittled away at your rigid style
of talking

as if you had to keep this air of mystery
surrounding your every word

your answers were soo crafted they couldnt
be real

and when i look at tiffany lamps
i dont feel amazed
i dont pull open my wallet
i hardly glace at the rose colored glass
or the carefully constructed base

Lets put a price on our lives
and talk in the morning

Getting over it

by: slanted

This morning
I saw a
Ray of sunshine
Where it didn’t
Belong

It was thin
And bright and
Right across my
Left eye

But my right eye
Was able to see
Able to assess
And direct My
Face away

That bright little ray
Of sunshine
Was not enough
To pull me out of bed

Newer Isn't Better

by: Johnny Slate

It's been three days
And the question begging to be answered is
Have you forgotten?
But you're the inquisitor
And I'm just as curious
Hoping we both have the same answer
It adds tension it does
Because in my chest
And in your head
Is all the same
It's the pessimist in me

That ends up a begger

Stare

by: slanted

The thing about pavement
Is it’s not very interesting

So why are we staring at it
With a hopeful tilt to our mouths
And a hopeless look in our eyes

It’s odd
But now that I look
There’s a crack
With no tar on it

I’m thinking it must be fresh
I’m thinking I can relate
I’m thinking

This is not comfortable silence
Since we can both hear our minds

The thing about pavement
Is that unlike your face,
It doesn’t make me stutter

35mm film

by whitehorse

we were driving home

from a romantic comedy
a movie you hated actually

when i first told her about you.
how you had spent the day with me

while i ran errands and did things i needed to do

and i explained to her
how much i fell for you
the moment i turned
and saw you mouthing the words
to my favorite song...

and this last week

i came along
while you ran errands and did things

that you needed to do.

and when you looked over at me
you said just what i was thinking
when i was in the drivers seat
and you were my passenger

"i love you"

HER AND I DONT TALK

by whitehorse

your eyes were like lightning
on that train
in the underground
heading towards home.

we were still days away from getting there
but i could feel it coming
like a cold
the way it fills your head
until you can think of nothing else

my obsession .

if i were to be soo bold as to call it that
take that plunge into artistic fantasy
meet my collegues

we stepped out onto a rainy street.
and my jacket was soaked before the corner

your stayed dry.

and the only news from home
was how i would have to change,
to be with a girl (i didnt like)


and they told me if i wrapped my arms
all the way around that cross

any wish would be granted.

Stars

black charger

Leaving everything behind
For a better life
Where you could go
And make him proud of you

Did you do it?

Finding the only way to make it
Was doing things you would never do

Making it was harder than you thought
So you gave in and did those things
Degrading yourself for the hopes to be famous

Did it work
Are you rich and famous

I think not

But you can’t do anything now
You are in hundreds of fantasies of men all over

You didn’t make it and now have nothing left
No pride, respect or dignity

What’s left now

Besides another failed attempt?

Our Masterpiece

black charger

A solid beat
You lay down for me
We have our ever-changing melody
But our solid base is still there

My rhythm of course is of key
But nothing better can be expected of me
Our tune is always in sync
Through all the tempos we choose to keep

We have our highs and lows
But nothing can compare
To the music we make
When were together

Keeping Quiet

black charger

Tiptoeing around your house
Making up lies
You live a life separate from the world
Is it really worth it

Just to get high
And escape the pain in your life

Lying to your little sister
About where you were last night
Spraying on cologne
Immediately after you get home

Is it worth all the deceit
To escape it all for a little while

If you could do it all again
Would you
Or would you change?

Try and fix it all

What would you do
If you could go back in time

And relive the night your first got high?

as backboards shatter in arenas

by whitehorse


have you ever been close to death?
and not, you swallowed some gum and choked a little
but really close to death.

saltwater filling your lungs

your family is just a scream away
but you keep going above
and below the water.

its shallow enough for you to stand in
but your feet cant find thier way under you.

you used to walk along this beach

throw a football

wade out waist deep in the water
and attempt to catch fish in platic bags.
you never caught one though

like a dream. it always seemed to escape you.

and i woke up in the middle of a sex dream once.
and stayed awake.

i didnt want you like that.

i could never open my eyes,
underwater that is.

but neither is too far fetched.

charades with emotions

by: slanted

Are we really that good?
At fooling each other so easily?
Because it was a long game
And I’m almost positive I felt something

Somewhere in there

And this would be easy
If I was simply jumping
From rock to rock
Keeping my momentum

But I stopped on you

only a kiss

by: slanted

Turn
Exhale
Move along with no look back

If mistakes weren’t made
With good intentions
We wouldn’t be making them

It’s hard to say
If I was reaching out
Or lashing out

But one things for certain
It meant nothing to you
Something to me

And you said “go for it”

Select a color, make a commitment

by Turtledove

The paint by my door is slowly chipping away
even though it was just painted
a few years ago
and was meant to last

Some days
when the nights are warm
the paint comes off
in sheets

Leaving the previous layers
room to look around
and breathe

1:43

by: slanted

Everything is beautiful
As long as it’s dark

I want to stay in the night
And never see things in detail
Because nothing is so perfect
Without a shadow covering it up

And this life is just a cigarette
Being inhaled by everyone here
And it’s burning away
Slowly

There are no lies at night
Because no one can tell
Because no one wants to bother
Because no one is thinking clearly

An existence lived in the night
Is an existence in imagination
Pick and choose the moments to keep

Just remember
It’s impossible to stay
And everything loses its glamour
Without hiding what it really is

And it’s much harder to lie to yourself
When you can see everything clearly

A poem about poems about poems about poems

by whitehorse

stop talking like a christmas card
if i wanted to be drowned with fake sentiment
i would go to the hallmark store
where the bears kiss.

and you can get barbie plates.
if you spend enough.

if i were you i would donate my eyes
to the blind. because they could probably
see the world more clearly
or at least interpret it, with class
and tone
and style
and grace
and soul...

words need hearts,
the same as anything else.

except of course for plants

but plants grow.
you of course
do not.

Tucked in Tight

black charger

My color may not blend well with yours
But when we are all together somehow it works
Every color has it’s place
As I place myself next to you in this big yellow box
We become one
Let me be your crayola

Thoughts

black charger

1. Contrary to belief
The hardest decision
Isn’t what you will become
It’s who you are


2. The things we live through
Aren’t what we want to
They are what we have to
In order to fit where we belong

| said RACECAR!!!

by whitehorse

so right now you are probably thinking
about how those sex clubs have safe words
and how you wish your life was like that

how convenient

but of course its not really like that is it?
you knew exactly who you were when you walked in that room
you tore it up becuase you needed to hurt someone
like you were hurt.

ashes to ashes
trust to trust

dont worry
you arent the bad guy
and neither am i?

we are both equal parts in the same vein
white and red.
one job. as my bio teacher sighs because i missed that part

spent most of my time writting you letters
that you kept
and that means more to me then sex
ever could

and every morning i wake up to a bed thats too big
and i wonder why my sheets never abandon me

i wonder if they know something others dont

Punishing myself for my lack of words

by Turtledove

I was driving home from your house

All I wanted to do was turn the car around
and try and give you a hug

Maybe you'd let me, maybe you wouldn't...
but for that split second, I wanted to try.

Would a hug absorb our confusion?

If I absorbed yours and you absorbed mine,
Would it all meet somewhere in the middle and cancel out?

But I made my decision
And kept driving
Back to my own house where I knew
I'd have to now deal with the fact

That I made my decision.

Where Are You?

by: Johnny Slate

I think
We both need to eat up our pride

In the End of Days
Leading up to the death of our world

We need each other most



But you call first

Looking for something?

by brown cow

My stomach turns with every word you speak

You are the opitimy of weak

You stand there and stare

You stare at me as if I owe you something

Didn't your mom ever tell you

"Staring is impolite"

Ignorance is Strength

by brown cow

If I punched you in the face
Would you wake-up?

No, I didn't think so

For now, you'll just stand there
With your fingers in your ears
So you can block me out

Ignore me once more

If you'd just listen, you'd see
But you won't, you can't

To you
Ignorance is strength

Take Care

by: Johnny Slate

We said "take care"
We are not invincible
But we are untouchable

Kill me slowly
With greedy indulgences
Or lack of necessities

I know the middle road is the fastest
But sometimes I enjoy the scenic route
Just... don't get lost

You pulled me to my feet
And as I left again
You pulled me close
And
Whispered in my ear
Your voice like a sweet tea
Poured through a hole in my brain
To clean my senses
And rejuvinate my determination

All you said:
"take care"

I JUST LOVE CUM

by whitehorse

how could you not love this?

young girls faking orgasms while three of four dudes
stand in a half circle around her
try to keep hard
until it is thier turn to fill her

(and then eventually her mouth)
as the camera man says

"lets see that 18 year old pussy"

how can you not love this?

sitting there with the volume way down
finger on the tv\vcr buttor.

or is it the red x on top of the page?

and your family is fast asleep
but you have never been more aware
of the creaks in your house
the sound of your air conditioning.

who wouldnt love this?

at first it was interesting
she still had some clothes on
well kind of

but as she stripped
other parts of her fell off
till you were just watching her pride
getting fucked

that is of course


until she swallowed it

you know what, fuck that!

by whitehorse

i read our horroscopes
and was extra careful not to piss you off all day

because you are having trouble
with your significant other

and i should avoid fights at all costs

and i wouldnt believe it so readily.

if the stars hadnt told me i was mad at you last week
because i didnt feel appreciated.
and look at me now

smiling.

without a star in the sky

No, YOU'RE the hero

by steadfast twilight

I saw the moon and saved it from its black sheet.
I cradled it so delicately in my palm.
Slowly raising it up to my mouth, I pondered what it would taste like.
It did not taste like cheese, but of wonder, amazement, and hope.
As I placed the half-eaten moon back into its black fortress I thanked the moon.
"You're welcome, ever so," it replied.
And I drifted back into the netherlands of my yellow pillow.

I wish I were a better Architect

By: jonathon never

I’ve built up these moments
Like the Lego castles I used to make
Designed with care and integrity
So no one can see into the center
I made sure the blocks have corners
Fresh, sharp and clean for cutting
So you cant take them apart without wounds
So I can be sure you won’t escape without a memory
I’ve always needed people to pay a price
For the shoddy workmanship I hide inside
A mass of needless colors
A weakness I never wanted you to see

the feast of the assumption

by whitehorse

i sat amongst a congregation
of believers.
or at least half doubters
the fair weather fans of my religion.

you should have seen them that sunday
after those two buildings fell.
like a quickly ending game
of jenga

like god would give *them closure (* a shit)

yeah right.

if you want a moral compass
pick up a cd at k mart
that has been edited for content

you can have free speach
just as long as its over a beat
that doesnt offend the ears of protestant women
who havent had sex in a few years

and am i wicked? you bet
but sometimes im a saint.

but no ones looking then
as i flip over pennies so others have luck

i want to spend my day as invisible as a sky scraper
as quiet as a freight truck

and of all these people, in all the pews
how many know what holy day this is?

yes this is about you

by whitehorse


you can still read me like a book
even though you put me down
and let me gather dust

or was it that i
allowed myself to become less apealing?


so the will to read wasnt there

because you cant change who you were
no matter how much you drink
or how much i make jokes about it.

and we still dont miss a beat
despite the fact that we have been playing different drums
for a long time.

You were always better with digits

by Turtledove

I wish I was a math equation.
So you could look into my eyes
and see numbers.

If the numbers
added up
to love,

We'd both get extra credit.

Maybe if I lay myself out
all nice and neat
here in front of you

Give you a calculator,
A blank page,
And some time

You can figure me out.

The same old problems but with somebody new.

by Turtledove

I can't decide
If I miss you.

But I think I do.

Because missing you
as a person
And missing you
as a pasttime

Are two completely
different things.

I just try to keep up

by Turtledove

I prop my words
up
Next to the
genius in your rhythm
and the wit in your tone

Half of the time
feeling proudly powerful
That when the sun sets
and I kiss my words goodnight
I'll be tucking them in
alongside yours.

can i use your cup as an ashtray?

by whitehorse

i was driving in my car
without any music playing
and the temperature reminded me
what its like to be alone.

because the car smelled like my life
before you.

and i was soo empty.
my destination was uncertain
but i wound up smelling like smoke
and feeling like ashes

and no matter what wind
threatens to scatter me
you will bring me back together
at your front door

The Drive

by: black charger

The force that constantly surrounds us
Always pushing us around
Bringing others into the spotlight
While tearing others down

Shoving us into what we aren't
With the portrayal of whom we become
What many of us are constantly aware of
But none of it can be undone

There are things that make us who we are
And the people who drive us there
But none of it seems to be right
While no one even cares

It can be a dangerous thing
Life threatening but yet soothing too
Peer pressure is something none of us can change
Not him, nor me, or even you.

a brief stay with the x men

by whitehorse

so i have photographs of us
but that really doesnt do justice
to how mad you make me sometimes

and you have some of my poems
but that really doesnt portray
the times i cursed your name
both under and over my breath

and we both have our own lives
that we gave up the day we met
or a few months after that
when we fell all over each others days

like shadows

The Crowd

by: Black Charger

One night I got to thinking
About the person I could have become
The people who have changed me
And the places I shouldn't have been

Those nights I lied awake
All alone in bed
Dreaming of cake and ice cream
When instead I should have been dead

All the stupid things I've done
Have made me who I am
Without these I'd be nothing
Nothing more and nothing less

You've made me who I am
What am I to do now
Without you in my life
I'm just another one in the crowd

just another soldier?

by brown cow

Sand splashes into your eyes
But you stay
Bullets graze your shoulder
But you stay
Explosions echo in the distance
But you stay
You are in constant danger
But you stay
You stay because of your love for your country
You stay for the life you wish to preserve
You stay for your family
You stay to fight for the life you feel they deserve
You put in long hours
You keep up the hard fight
You don’t mind sacrificing your life

You are a soldier for your country
You are a fearless warrior
You are someone I admire

going away to college

by brown cow

You taught me what I couldn’t teach myself
You showed me wrong from right
You taught me how to tie my shoes
You stood by my door as I slept at night

You were always there to talk to
You picked me up when I would fall
You showed me how to stand strong
You showed me how to stand tall

Thank you for the small things
They are the things that matter most
If it weren’t for them
I wouldn’t be able to handle life’s curvy road

Goodbye my beloved family
I love you with all my heart
I am off on my own journey
It is something I must start

I will never forget the laughs
I will never forget your smiles
Thank you for the good times
You made my life worthwhile

Dinner party

by steadfast twlight

I'm glad that parading around like a fool makes you happy.
I only say this because I care and I only want what makes me happy.
I only want what doesn't embarass me in front of other people when I'm around you.
You have to be polished and poised to dine with the best, you know.
Didn't you realize that posh is the new selfish?

Every doorway is a shadow

by steadfast twilight

1.
If you squint
you can see my admiration for you
Tripping down the carpeted steps
Landing with a thud on its back
Looking up at the ceiling and wondering how it survived
Another fall.
-------

2.
I am your chump change.
Used when you need me the least.
Hidden at the bottom of my mind.
Give me a telephone call as your last resort.
I'll gladly accept your forgotten invitation.

meltdown

by white horse

i followed the black and yellow lines
that led me to my allergy

that once led me to more fear
then i ever thought i could stand

and i always thought if you could do one thing
perfectly
no one would ever be able to take that away.
for more then a weekend or two.

and i was warned about those pills
how they could be harsh on my stomach
i would rather be torn apart inside then out
that way no one could see my pain

and i tried to stay soo upbeat on a bed
where god knows who was on before
and i wanted to lay down
fall asleep
and dissappear

wrapped up in aluminum foil

by steadfast twilight

Cover the world with leftover hope
Gleaming brightly, strung together with rope
Making its way to every person
None of them deserve this.
---

is it the left or right shoulder

by white horse

i was speechless
and my eyes were starting to tear
as you stood there.

half naked in front of the mirror
looking at your body
and not seeing it at all

in the odd glow of a lamp
that is usually never turned on

and i wanted to scream

or maybe just smash that mirror

because i would take seven bad years
to save you one day

last nights stumblings

by white horse

would you stop me?

if we were walking opposite ways
down the same street
and i was the boy from your dream

would you have that much courage?
that little care?

i would hold my breath if i saw you

the way boys do
as they flush condoms down toilets
waiting to see if they will stay hidden.

and isnt this all common knowledge?

the same way that everyone stops to talk to drunk kids
the same way we all look at pretty girls

When two best friends date two best friends

by Turtledove

In the parking lot
We ran ahead that night
with hands playfully
in the other's back pockets

Our boys watched us from behind
Smiled
Yours leaned over to mine
and said, "Nice catch"
And mine said,
"You too"

with____

by brown cow

Sitting alone in the dark
Wondering why you’re here

Don’t worry, beautiful

Missing the face
Missing the feeling

Don't worry, beautiful

Time fades
People come and go

Don't worry, beautiful

This gift
Can only be seen through time

Don't worry, beautiful

You are beautiful without

veterans day

by whitehorse

do you want the purple heart?

a piece of metal to prove it?
yes im hurting
cant you see that.

i will pin it on my jacket
scream it from the roof tops

someone hurt ME

and the planets kept spinning.
and the clouds kept moving


and over the roar of the street you confessed
that you still loved him.

and she agreed, that love could stay
and i made a joke.
because the love i know hasnt been taken

and because your answers made me uneasy.

drive in

by white horse

i wanted to see a timeline.

some sort of representation of your life
so i spent the night with your old friends

and it was like watching you grow.

each one of them a different stage of your development

and i kept as quiet as i could
while they ignored your voice
more then heard it.

and perhaps some are only capable of

looking fondly at the past.

is that what i was doing?

i wanted a timeline
but i now think i will need a compass

because
if you walk far enough north, you get home.

Albino Giraffe

by brown cow

She smiles at the pages
A thousand letters glare right back

A friend when others aren’t around?
Perhaps

A pale, ghostly girl
With a stark white face
Drifts into the pages

Another night alone